I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
