he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
