I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
