I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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