we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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