So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
