U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
