You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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