That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
