holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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