Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
