Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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