Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
don't judge my taste in strippers
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
