Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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