how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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