My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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