Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
