She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
