Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
