He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
