you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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