he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
