that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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