If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
BRING THE BAGELS
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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