R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
