I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
