I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
