So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
