No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
