Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
