i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
