Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
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