that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
