i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
