So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
where are my eyebrows?
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