my mouth tastes like poor choices
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
