yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
