I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Randomize
