I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
