Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
