So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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