Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
