those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize