I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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