I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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