is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
