I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
