I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
