It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
