I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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