Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
